The idea to start this blog arose from the need to keep track of all the crazy shit that happens to me on a seemingly daily basis. When shit happens and I feel the need to share my shit with other people, their response is either "that shit didn't happen" or "you need to write a book about that shit." Well, shit happens, so I am going to try to keep track of it through this blog.
The title comes from the question I constantly ask myself: "Am I living in an alternate universe?"
I ask myself the question when my old fart of a co-worker, who allegedly (keyword is allegedly) did three tours in Nam, slings open my office door without knocking, starts yelling about blasting someone's ass, uses my phone, and starts doing all of his work on my desk.
Along the same lines, I once asked myself the question when I had to work in a cubicle with a girl who clipped her toenails in the cubicle, left the toenails in the carpet, and proceeded to tell me not to worry about it because the cleaning crew would clean it up.
I ask the question when I am getting a steamed-towel treatment after a haircut, feel a stylist sit in my lap while the another one is washing my hair, and after I tell her to get up, hear her blab about how that wouldn't happen to me if I didn't come in "dressed so damn cute."
I ask the question when one of my close relatives hires another one of my close relatives as a stripper.
I ask myself the question when the stripper relative is scheduled to go on Jerry Springer.
These are just examples that I am coming up with off the top of my head. Hopefully, once I start keeping track of my stories through this blog, you be able to get a better understanding of why I may be living in an alternate universe. If you know me and have heard some of my stories that are worth sharing, remind me of them, and I will try to find time to share them in the blog.
I am going to try to keep this blog as PG-13 as possible. However, sometimes the shit that surrounds me is rated R, and the language is needed for you to get a complete view of my universe.
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